Today is the day we set our clocks back and get our hour back that we gave up earlier this year. How I wish we could set our clocks back a couple of years. I'd love to have all of that time back with Sandy. Maybe we could do something different that wouldn't bring us to where we are today.
My heart is really broken today for Sandy. She is at such an awful place with this disease. Her pain is increasing and we're having to give her more medication to control it. The cough is as relentless as it has ever been, so she's getting increased breathing treatments and cough medicine. And now she is going through some sort of mental torment that is just tearing out my heart. Even with the increased meds she doesn't sleep as much as she used to. She is awake more, but more disconnected from reality. She is seeing people and having conversations with people that aren't there. She is looking for things that she thinks she dropped but she never had in her hands. She says she wants to go home when she's already at home. She tries to get up to do things that she obviously doesn't need to do. It is so sad to see her in this state of mind. I just want her to be able to rest peacefully.
Thanks to Sharon who brought us some delicious soup and hot cornbread for supper tonight and some chocolate chip cookies for dessert. Thank you to everyone who has sent their support and love and prayers via cards, emails, letters and phone. I know there are so many supporting and praying for Sandy every single day.