Monday, November 2, 2009

The Constant Vigil

I am sitting here at Sandy's bedside watching her rest more comfortably than she has for the past couple of days. But even at that it's still not the peace that I wish for her at this point. The on-call Hospice nurse came about 15 minutes ago and gave her a shot of Thorazine and Gina gave her more OxyFast and Xanax. Even with all of that she still moans and groans and talks periodically.

Sandy's Hospice nurse came by earlier today to check on her. She said that she doesn't expect Sandy to make it to the end of the week. While that is devastating enough news in its own right, the remainder of the day has been every bit as painful. Sandy has been under heavy medication throughout the day but has not been able to stay comfortable or to rest for more than 15 to 30 minutes at a time. She wakes up with an urgency that she needs to get up and go somewhere or do something. We try to convince her that she just needs to lay back down and rest. But she gets combative and she begs and pleads and cries and fights to get out of bed. I know that whatever is going through her mind during these times is very real to her and needs to be tended to immediately. This makes it that much harder for those of us trying to keep her in bed. It has been an almost constant battle and has brought all of us to tears on more than one occasion today. We finally had to stop visitors from going back to see her because it has been so hard to get her to rest.

Please pray that she can have that peace that she deserves. No one should have the torment that she has experienced today!

Thanks to Terri for bringing us lasagna, garlic bread and salad for supper and cookies for dessert tonight. It was delicious and enjoyed by all. Thanks to Jack and Pam for bringing a basket full of goodies and a plate of brownies. I did sample the brownies, Jack, and you did good! I apologize that I wasn't able to visit while you were here, but that was during one of those times we were trying to get Sandy settled down and back in bed.

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